Friday, April 20, 2007

Another rambly relationships post

I found this online today,

It is gorgeously over the whole lurve thing. Where else can you get your greedy little paws on cards featuring road kill, and the inner message,"thinking of you" or the 'sorry we're breaking up' cards with a cutie love teddy with an axe through its head? Where else can you acquire t-shirts proclaiming "needy and clingy" and "will fuck for attention"? These fashion statements are (almost) guaranteed not to put you at risk of falling into a relationship. If these don't work, consider customising your own tee, with the big headline 'Bunny Boiler'. That ought to do it. I am feeling cynical enough that I've decided that next time I break up with someone, I'll use the fake your own death and skip the State method. Much less likely to result in hostility than if I actually engage in discussion.

On other lurve related matters, a whore friend of mine gave me The Rules (I and II) stating that my thoughts exactly fitted with these writers' on the lurve thing. I was utterly freaked out that this may have been the case, so carefully read both of them, let them sit for a while, then read them over again, taking notes this time, in order to give them a chance, so that my prejudice against 'how to catch yourself a husband' material didn't get in the way. The Rules II, I was happy to see, included a section on same sex relationships. So here is my thoughts on The Rules - for str8 girls, who are looking for a quite traditional marriage, with a quite traditional str8 man, following the Rules, will, in my opinion, almost guarantee it.
The Rules are based on desperately hiding how 'needy and clingy' you are, in order to not scare him away, and never letting him be too sure that he is 'the one'. Pretty damn fail-safe, really. Hide the needy lurve-obsessed psycho aspects that seem to be part and parcel of the female conditioning thing, and he will fall for the new improved version of you. However, there is lots of stuff in The Rules that I don't mind so much, such as keep yourself really busy doing other things, so you don't get relationship obsessed. And based on the idea that you can get the practice right, and then the attitude will follow (or fake it until you make it), act as much as possible as if you were a whole person, with or without a relationship. So, yes, there are aspects of The Rules that fit in with how I see things, however, there is so much about the whole thing that makes me a little ill. The fact that it originally came out about the same time as the 'surrendered wives' movement (the 1990s) has probably affected my view here, also the idea that you should never ask the guy out, pay for anything in the early stages, etc freaks me out.
Obviously, there are quite a few femmes in this town that would agree with those ways of functioning in a relationship, however, while some part of me loves the idea of being a creature unlike any other, some part of me thinks that it should be enough for women to be merely human. That the same notions of chivalry that put us on pedestals also lock us into oppressive, inflexible social roles.
On non-lurve topics, my voice has gone from, according to others, delightfully husky, at the Call Girls Launch on Wednesday night, to non-existent by Thursday morning. In between trying to sleep it off (my remedy for all things), I have be wondering around, loudly whispering, to housemates - which of course means everyone else starts whispering back. It is all very odd, as aside from my voice being gone, I feel fabulous. I'm off to Hellfire tonight, to be very silent and mysterious, however I really need to see MooZoo doing Bovinity. Sadly, I've consumed about 12 large garlic cloves over the last 24 hours to ward of illness, so being bitten by Vampires tonight is unlikely.

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