Monday, January 01, 2007

Requests and Resolutions

I don't really do New Years resolutions - I ask the Goddess for things I need - then instead of getting them, I am presented with challenges in those area that ultimately force me to develp greater skills and strength to tackle the identified challenges. I've always attributed an impish sense of humour to the deities, so in place of wish fulfillment, I get 'choose your area of difficulty to focus on this year'. I'm actually glad I don't get the rub the genie bottle and get three wishes. There is much more satisfaction in the opportunites for self development.

About 4 years ago I attended a Winter Solstice (Yule) event in Adelaide. Yule marks the end of the old year and onset of the new for Pagans (although we celebrate it in the middle of the calendar year in the Southern hemesphere). We wrote down wishes for the new year on paper, rolled them up and inserted them into holes pre-drilled into the Yule log, which was then put into the fire. I asked for the most relevent thing for my life at the time: an end to my clinical depression. Instead of that occuring without any work from me, pretty soon after that time I embarked on the fateful relationship; the ending of this sparked my recovery (I've posted about this ad nauseum in this blog to date).

At the beginning of 2006 I asked for two things. The first was no more needy people who were unable to demonstrate respect and support for me. So at times I had various hot prospects entering my life who were delightful and attractive, but so messy and unreliable that I had to regretfully put the breaks on. The second thing I asked for was greater assertiveness. So I was presented with a two nasty situations involving sexual harassment this year that I had to manage. Both times were so bizarre and creepy that they forced me to speak up and challenge the dynamic almost immediately.

What I really need to ask for this year is for better money management skills, and better organisational skills. The problem is that I could easily be asking for mounting debt and even more commitments as challenges for me to experiment on. So if I end the year having a nervous breakdown and facing bankrupcy, I'll only have myself to

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